


How to Find You One True Love: Sarlacc Edition

by Anonymous



Category: Beauty and the Beast (1991), Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Genre: Gen, Prince Charming and his attempts at getting laid (background), They/Them Pronouns for Hunter (Disney: Snow White), Written for Sarlacc, angry confirmation, drunk and barely disorderly, no beta we are courageous and singing Gold! Gold! Gold! in a bar near you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:55:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22601323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: There is such a thing as being too stubborn
Relationships: Belle (Disney: Beauty and the Beast)/the Hunter (Disney: Snow White)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9
Collections: Sarlacc Game Collection





	How to Find You One True Love: Sarlacc Edition

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on an actual occasion in one of the games: despite one character not showing up on a date, another came to the first character house and angrily confirmed their comparability.  
> I am not certain If did this situation justice, but here is my take on this!  
> All the mistakes are my own and I know about them.

Belle was certain that her date wouldn't come. This was both infuriating and worrying.

Wait, she was a  _ good _ person and character: she should be worried why someone who asked her out themselves didn't arrive on said date. Or have a good night regardless: after all, she wasn't often having a night out and letting someone spoil it felt like a double waste.

However she was steadily getting angrier. She couldn't even explain it herself: while alcohol clearly played a part, pitying glances of other couples were much more irritating than usual. Charming, the well-meaning git, even offered to join his 'date club': he was popular enough that now his table was hotly debating which game would allow them all to get to know each other better and still remain on speaking terms afterwards.

Belle refused, on principle. She had a secret reason to still wait for Hunter - a magic wand of her own make! This artefact was supposed to prove whether two sentient beings were compatible in love, but only as long as they went on a date!

She could always redirect the spell, but the combination of several beers and the rambunctious company of Charming was a bit too much to be certain that she would succeed a second time. After all, the prince courageous could just be making sure everyone knows each other better - Belle caught him sneaking glances at Cinderella, despite them not actually sharing a word outside of a greeting all night.

The wand itself was likely to misfire: it did confirm Cogsworth and Lumiere out of all couples at the castle celebration, and they only stepped aside to argue properly!

Belle also wanted to check how the wand showed the results when two people were not compatible. Would there still be fireworks, but in a different colour? No sign at all? A list of things the pair should be working on in order to improve their chances?

Belle finished her third beer with a sign. It was certainly tastier than the first two, but she was ready to leave the establishment. Charming's company was loudly signing something that sounded suspiciously like the latest dwarven hit "Gold! Gold! Gold!", so she turned to the bartender to ask for information.

"Excuse me!"

"Yes? Another beer?" the fairy asked. Their wings had finally turned pink from the bluish colour they were earlier, but Belle suppressed the urge to ask why.

"No, thank you. I was wondering if you know where Hunter lives?"

"The one that supplies fresh meat to Snow White palace?"

"Yes, that one. Handsome, dark hair, not the ginger nuisance," Belle clarified.

The beer must have been more potent that she thought, for her to forget important information.

"Yes, I do. Go right, then directly into the woods. Turn left at a birch, the tallest one, and then you'll find it. Their house is the better kept one out of those in the forest, and they keep their dogs inside the barn. If anything barks at you and is close enough to bite, then you've arrived at a wrong house."

"Dogs outside - wrong house, got it", Belle nodded.

The bartender stopped cleaning their glass and looked at her most thoughtfully.

"Normally I would advise to wait till morning, but no one's seen the Hunter all day and I have heard of you. Someone who lifted the curse off an entire castle can handle a short walk in the woods."

Belle felt her cheeks heat.

"Do you mind if I borrow your light?" she asked.

"Not at all! Tell it Lumos if it suddenly goes out, or just curse it properly," the bartender smiled.

And so Belle found herself walking down a barely seen path in the woods while murmuring expletives just to check on someone, who stood her up on a date. She should advise Adam to outlaw beer production: if three pints make her do strange things for spite and science (and out of the goodness of her heart, of course), other folk might do something much worse!

Although hadn't Tiana mentioned that prohibition hadn't worked? She should ask what did. Or, even better, think this through when no longer drunk.

A house finally appeared ahead. Something sturdy, with only one window slightly lighted up by a candle. Someone barked, but no dogs appeared. Belle thus concluded that she had arrived and walked as boldly as she could manage in the meagre light to what looked like the front door.

"Hunter! Are you in?" she cried, knocking on the door.

A sound of something falling came from inside the house. The dogs barked louder.

"Are you there? Open up!" Belle cried again, and kicked the door with her right foot. 

No sound was heard this time, apart from barking.

Belle limped to look at the light: the house was  _ too _ well built and the Hunter might have still be out hunting something. There was bound to be a creature that's better hunted without one's dogs, right?

And then she saw the light be blown out right before her eyes.

"Come out, you coward!" she shouted at the top of her voice. "It's Belle!"

Something metallic crushed inside the house. The Hunter was there, then. What a jerk: could they not send a word that the date fell through? Cry out anything now? Write a note and pin it in the door?

Whatever. Now the wand is bound to show their incompatibility!

Belle drew the wand and flailed it around in some uneven circles: magic required the pair to be close and the wand to move, but she wasn't going to attempt anything riskier.

And then the night was lit up by some very familiar fireworks.

"No!" Belle shouted and shook the wand. "Bad wand, take those back!"

"What has happened?" someone finally asked from inside the house.

"This means we are Confirmed Perfect March," Belle moaned in reply. "You are Hunter, I presume?"

"Yes. I ask you to forgive me: I was cursed not to exit the house today, nor to entertain guests till midnight. I can get the fire going and you might wait in the barn?"

"You keep dogs there," Belle replied, unamused.

"They are kind and won't bite until I command. And I am truly sorry that I stood you up."

"This conversation can wait till I can see your face," Belle looked at the barn. It certainly was warmer than the outside. "And don't think that a simple sorry would do!"

"I will try my utmost to compose a profound one," Hunter replied.

The dogs stopped barking, so Belle moved to shelter.

Her anger was slightly abating - after all, curses were no laughing matter! - so she required some time to prepare her accusing speech as well.

And figure out where they'd go on the proper first date.


End file.
